Giving Thanks

Thursday was my anniversary. 9 years. That's one thing to be thankful for. So Thanksgiving has come and gone. American commerce is now in fill swing. On Thursday we spent the day with our friends Terry and Tonya (also Terry's b-day). They have been the best friends to us over the years. We had way too much food left over and thank goodness I only brought home a few pieces of pie. Friday brought about the arrival of my cousin Amie and my Mam. We enjoyed some homemade soup (see last post) and some great company. Today was all about the food...man we did it up right. My Mam always says, "Do we know the good life, or do we know the good life?" I was overcome by a sense of true thanks when I was washing dishes, looking out the window at my cousin and Mam (taking self photos in which my grandmother actually smiled) with my kids running through ankle high leaves behind them. It almost played in slow motion. But this scene was shadowed by the fact that my sister and neice weren't here. They were supposed to come, but I think my neice was sick. It started me thinking...

My sister and I have an unusual relationship. At the age of 9 my world fell apart when my mom & dad divorced. We moved to my grandparents house. I would cry for my mom from the window as she would leave to go out on a date. It wasn't long before we moved, far. My everything was gone. My mom soon married and we stayed in this strange new place called Elmira, MO. Then came my sister. I think she may have been the only silver lining at this time in my life. My mom was so sick when she was pregnant and I was so unhappy. Then the day before I trick-or-treated as Madonna, my sister was born. I loved her. I remember that my mom would bring her to me instead of her dad in the middle of the night and I would feed her and she would sleep with me. I carried her around Wal-Mart like she was mine. We fought when she became a toddler and was old enough to mess with my stuff. Then that all fell apart too. Eventually we were raised separately. So, our take on things can be pretty different. We aren't your normal sisters that have a lifetime of stories and secrets. But since she had my neice, things have been different. We talk more. Have more in common. We actually say "love you" at the end of phone calls. She was supposed to be here today. I wanted her to be here more than anyone. I was wanting to see my neice, my miracle baby. The girls were so excited. My sister was actually going to come and see ME. She wanted to come and spend Thanksgiving with ME. So, all that to say that even though my neice had been sick, and I was worried about the two of them making the trip alone. I am sad she is not here. I have always wanted my sister to be my friend. I know that if we didn't share blood, I am probably not the first person she'd ask to go shopping with. That is probably why I hate it when my kids fight and don't get along. I only wish that my sister and I had what they have.

I have chosen this life, to follow God even if it means moving away from my family. But, I have missed them terribly. I wish that my neice knew me more and that I was there to see her more. She hasn't seen my son yet either. I would like to think that if I was there, my sister and I would do things like shop together, watch each others kids and have dinner. Do sister things. Missing my sister only makes me miss my mom. I haven't been with my family for the holidays since we moved. So, even though I had a wonderful day, it wasn't all I had hoped. And tonight I go to bed teary. Turkey and pie can't take these tears away.