I want to scream TOO!

It has been a very stressful evening in our house. I have a daughter that is 8, and on most any other day I would tell you how much I love her and how great she is. BUT...it is today, and I am at my wits end with her! I may still love her...but I don't much like her...

Please take all this with a grain of salt...it's just feelings of frustration falling out of my fingertips onto a keyboard.

I spent so many years trying to "de-dramatize" my life. To this day, people who "love them some drama" make me cringe. It's energy and life depleting. Yet, I have a daughter who is all drama. I get like a battery running out of juice from it all. I do good to manage and keep my own emotions in check let alone her grandiose emotions! She screams and yells, throws ginormous fits and says the worst things when she's losing it. Today was the first time I have ever had it stress me out so much, that I felt sick. I couldn't even piece together thoughts, I went on auto-pilot.

I worry sometimes about what she'll do if anything major or traumatic ever really happens to her. Does she have it in her to deal? From what I have seen, no...and I don't think she wants to. At the end of the day, as her parents we have to be able to teach her how to cope with her fears and emotions so she's able to do what needs to be done! The trick is how...how do we do that without breaking her spirit...how do we do it and inspire her will...how do we do it and keep our sanity and at the same time protect our other kids from her outbursts?

There are times that I want to scream too. I want to scream and yell and throw things too!!!!!! But I can't...because I'm the grown up. There are times I want to drink, and smoke and run away!!! But I can't...because well...I'm the pregnant grown up! There are times when I can only take so much. Life in it's self is becoming more and more complicated and overwhelming...day by day I think surely there is no more room on my plate for anything else. It makes me wonder what the other side of this upcoming year/season will look like. Facing so many giants, facing so much opposition and trial... at the same time knowing that discipling my children is a "forever" thing, and most of this other stuff isn't.

Still...the little overwhelmed girl inside of me wants to scream too...