It has been a very stressful evening in our house. I have a daughter that is 8, and on most any other day I would tell you how much I love her and how great she is. BUT...it is today, and I am at my wits end with her! I may still love her...but I don't much like her...
Please take all this with a grain of salt...it's just feelings of frustration falling out of my fingertips onto a keyboard.
I spent so many years trying to "de-dramatize" my life. To this day, people who "love them some drama" make me cringe. It's energy and life depleting. Yet, I have a daughter who is all drama. I get like a battery running out of juice from it all. I do good to manage and keep my own emotions in check let alone her grandiose emotions! She screams and yells, throws ginormous fits and says the worst things when she's losing it. Today was the first time I have ever had it stress me out so much, that I felt sick. I couldn't even piece together thoughts, I went on auto-pilot.
I worry sometimes about what she'll do if anything major or traumatic ever really happens to her. Does she have it in her to deal? From what I have seen, no...and I don't think she wants to. At the end of the day, as her parents we have to be able to teach her how to cope with her fears and emotions so she's able to do what needs to be done! The trick is how...how do we do that without breaking her spirit...how do we do it and inspire her will...how do we do it and keep our sanity and at the same time protect our other kids from her outbursts?
There are times that I want to scream too. I want to scream and yell and throw things too!!!!!! But I can't...because I'm the grown up. There are times I want to drink, and smoke and run away!!! But I can't...because well...I'm the pregnant grown up! There are times when I can only take so much. Life in it's self is becoming more and more complicated and overwhelming...day by day I think surely there is no more room on my plate for anything else. It makes me wonder what the other side of this upcoming year/season will look like. Facing so many giants, facing so much opposition and trial... at the same time knowing that discipling my children is a "forever" thing, and most of this other stuff isn't.
Still...the little overwhelmed girl inside of me wants to scream too...
23.5.09
21.5.09
This week's try it...lemon basil chickn pasta
So in preparing for the birth of Mira Jade, I have begun to think ahead to summer. Even though I love cooking and nutrition, when summer comes along and it's hot I don't want to cook! I have been on the hunt to find some fresh summer flavor, so I threw this pasta together last night, inspired by an old recipe I had for lemon chicken and rice. I'm doing my best to remember how much of what I used!!! I will say that my husband said my kids LOVED it and raved all about it. This could easily be done vegetarian/vegan and gluten free.
Neisha's Summertime Lemon Basil Chicken Pasta
2-3 boneless chicken breast sliced thin in strips
1/2 med white or yellow onion chopped finely
2 lg clove garlic minced
3-4tbsp butter (olive oil would change the taste some, try this first)
1 1/2 - 2c frozen peas and carrots
1/2 c finely chopped fresh basil (don't skimp here...fresh!)
juice of 3-4 lemons
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp cornstarch
1 box (8 servings) of fettuccine, angel hair or linguine (Cooked)
In a large skillet on medium heat melt butter and add chicken, onion and garlic. Don't allow it to brown just cook through, about 3 minutes. Add basil, peas and carrots and cook about 3-4 minutes. In a bowl combine lemon juice, sugar and cornstarch. Turn down heat to low/med-low and add juice mixture. As it thickens watch it, and add a tablespoon of water or so if needed. Toss with pasta and salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with fresh Parmesan cheese if desired!
If you try this recipe, let me know what you think!
Neisha's Summertime Lemon Basil Chicken Pasta
2-3 boneless chicken breast sliced thin in strips
1/2 med white or yellow onion chopped finely
2 lg clove garlic minced
3-4tbsp butter (olive oil would change the taste some, try this first)
1 1/2 - 2c frozen peas and carrots
1/2 c finely chopped fresh basil (don't skimp here...fresh!)
juice of 3-4 lemons
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp cornstarch
1 box (8 servings) of fettuccine, angel hair or linguine (Cooked)
In a large skillet on medium heat melt butter and add chicken, onion and garlic. Don't allow it to brown just cook through, about 3 minutes. Add basil, peas and carrots and cook about 3-4 minutes. In a bowl combine lemon juice, sugar and cornstarch. Turn down heat to low/med-low and add juice mixture. As it thickens watch it, and add a tablespoon of water or so if needed. Toss with pasta and salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with fresh Parmesan cheese if desired!
If you try this recipe, let me know what you think!
14.4.09
I had to share!!! This week's try-it...
The day started off rainy and grey...again! The sound of chainsaws started in our neighborhood about 8AM! Yesterdays wind storm has left quite a bit o work to be done. Only God can replenish the earth in the middle of a drought and "stimulate the economy" with just a few storms. The neighborhood is full of power and light trucks, cable vans, tree companies and roofing contractors.
I decided to take the morning and do some cooking to get ahead of the game. One casserole baked, another's filling is ready to go, roast in the crock pot (and it is a beautiful one if I say so myself) and a whole chicken waiting on some fresh rosemary from my friend Erin's yard. I thought some baking may be in order. I hopped on the good ol' web to find a chocolate zucchini muffin recipe. What I came across was EVEN BETTER! This recipe is what made me so excited to do this post!!!! I am actually supposed to be folding 6 loads of laundry...instead I am here...sharing this little treasure with you!
I came across a two ingredient muffin recipe on www.reipezaar.com . Immediately I set to work and under 10 minutes these babies were in the oven and my imagination was going wild!
This recipe is for Chocolate Pumpkin Muffins. I know, a little out of season for pumpkin, but hear me out. With only two ingredients, these muffins will prove to be very versatile and very good. This is the original recipe from www.recipezaar.com ... I'll follow with my takes on it!
Chocolate Pumpkin Muffins
1 box chocolate cake mix (an kind)
1 (15 oz) can of pumpkin
Mix well and divide into muffin cups. Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes.
So, what would make these so great? Well, first off I think being able to use different cake mixes for different flavorings!
White/yellow cake - add 1-2 tablespoons orange zest to batter and top with OJ & powdered sugar glaze (orange will bring a brightness and freshness to it, great for this time of year)
Chocolate/devil's food - add one hershey's kiss tot he middle of each muffin for a special surprise or add some cherry pie filling
Spice cake - nuff said...come fall these will be just the thing to go with your hay ride and hot cider
Second, things like pumpkin, sweet potato, butternut squash are all foods most of us only consume rarely. Why not take advantage of these nutritionally packed babies all year?
Next, for busy people on the go you can't beat how simple it is! If you know someone who is sick, just had a baby or surgery or maybe at the last minute you get invited to a party or brunch, these muffins will be a snap to make and a big hit!
Lastly, for people with food allergies like me, this recipe is great! If you cannot tolerate eggs (like me) this is a great egg free way to still have baked goods. If you have trouble with gluten, many health food stores carry brands like Bob's Red Mill and other gluten free mixes for cakes, breads, etc. I challenge my friend Amber to try this with a gluten free cake mix and tell me how it comes out!
I hope you'll give this recipe a try soon. Maybe surprise someone who needs a little pick me up by showing up with a plate full of these chocolate delights!
I decided to take the morning and do some cooking to get ahead of the game. One casserole baked, another's filling is ready to go, roast in the crock pot (and it is a beautiful one if I say so myself) and a whole chicken waiting on some fresh rosemary from my friend Erin's yard. I thought some baking may be in order. I hopped on the good ol' web to find a chocolate zucchini muffin recipe. What I came across was EVEN BETTER! This recipe is what made me so excited to do this post!!!! I am actually supposed to be folding 6 loads of laundry...instead I am here...sharing this little treasure with you!
I came across a two ingredient muffin recipe on www.reipezaar.com . Immediately I set to work and under 10 minutes these babies were in the oven and my imagination was going wild!
This recipe is for Chocolate Pumpkin Muffins. I know, a little out of season for pumpkin, but hear me out. With only two ingredients, these muffins will prove to be very versatile and very good. This is the original recipe from www.recipezaar.com ... I'll follow with my takes on it!
Chocolate Pumpkin Muffins
1 box chocolate cake mix (an kind)
1 (15 oz) can of pumpkin
Mix well and divide into muffin cups. Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes.
So, what would make these so great? Well, first off I think being able to use different cake mixes for different flavorings!
White/yellow cake - add 1-2 tablespoons orange zest to batter and top with OJ & powdered sugar glaze (orange will bring a brightness and freshness to it, great for this time of year)
Chocolate/devil's food - add one hershey's kiss tot he middle of each muffin for a special surprise or add some cherry pie filling
Spice cake - nuff said...come fall these will be just the thing to go with your hay ride and hot cider
Second, things like pumpkin, sweet potato, butternut squash are all foods most of us only consume rarely. Why not take advantage of these nutritionally packed babies all year?
Next, for busy people on the go you can't beat how simple it is! If you know someone who is sick, just had a baby or surgery or maybe at the last minute you get invited to a party or brunch, these muffins will be a snap to make and a big hit!
Lastly, for people with food allergies like me, this recipe is great! If you cannot tolerate eggs (like me) this is a great egg free way to still have baked goods. If you have trouble with gluten, many health food stores carry brands like Bob's Red Mill and other gluten free mixes for cakes, breads, etc. I challenge my friend Amber to try this with a gluten free cake mix and tell me how it comes out!
I hope you'll give this recipe a try soon. Maybe surprise someone who needs a little pick me up by showing up with a plate full of these chocolate delights!
3.4.09
Ponderings of this spring
So it is spring in Georgia...that means one thing for sure POLLEN! The faint yellowish-green lines are beginning to show on the roads. When it rains, the pollen takes a nice leisurely ride to the low places the water collects. There, days later is a big yellow patch. Simply saying "Hello! I'm pollenating here!" All of the fingerprints on the van windows are turning yellow...as if the CSI team had been here dusting to find a killer. Along with our nice covering of yellow, there is life blooming all around. The dogwoods are all in full bloom. Our neighborhood is dotted with popcorn-like trees against the latest backdrop of grey. It has rained here nearly everyday for weeks. This is a plus being as they say we are officially out of the "worst drought in 100yrs". I love driving through our 'hood and seeing the pillows of cascading purple phlox, daffodils knee-high, cherry blossoms and tulips all making a grand entrance. I hope to soon have the energy to walk down to the stables at the end of our street and see what spring has brought to the farm. I like that spring comes early here. It seems to come just in the nick of time. Just when I think I can stand winter no more...daffodils! Funny, spring used to mean shopping for the season's new wardrobe and shoes, now it means enjoying the life around me.
Even with all this, I find myself a bit melancholy these days. I'd like to just blame it on the grey skies, but I know better. I find my heart downtrodden within me. What is it about getting well into your thirties that makes life bitch-slap you? All of the sudden things begin to happen in the lives of people around you and even in your own life. Things you can't stop, or change. Things that hurt. Things that change people. Confusing things. Life all of the sudden sheds the facade of a fairytale, and reality shows up like a playground bully. I can't help but see it all and wonder how it will affect me? How will it continue to affect them? Will I still have these friendships in 5 yrs, or will reality do away with that too? I see and feel the pain of these around me and I find that for once in my life, it seems I have no words for it. I find that all I seem to be able to do is cry and pray. The first I suppose is only helpful to me. The second is far more helpful to any situation than crying. It's the age old scenario...I can't see God doing anything, yet he has to be, even if it's only in me. I find myself feeling hopeless for the situations of people I love and think "This is not helpful!"
I found myself last night scouring scripture for hope...I came across this " Why are you cast down, O my soul and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Ps 42:5)
Seems like maybe someone knows how I feel. I found myself in the face of a choice; I could continue focusing on these things that only make me sad and hopeless OR I could change my view to God and what he has done and is doing in spite of what my human eyes might see. I found I had to choose to, even try to, think of things to praise God for. Things he has done, promises he has made and kept, his power and miracles he has done and situations he has changed. It's not easy when you heart's eyes want to keep looking down where they have been.
When my husband was in college he knew these two guys, brothers. They were the biggest partiers ever. They did every drug and drank every drink there was to be drank. One night both brothers were at separate parties stoned out of their minds. Both of them ended up sick praying to the potty god. Both of them saw clearly a vision of Jesus. He declared his love for them and told them to stop all the drugs and drinking because he had things for them to do. Instantly, both were sober and clear minded. Their partying stopped that night and both have followed Jesus since. I was reminded of these two and thought "if Jesus can visit them, and stop them in their tracks Paul-style...he can do that and more for those around me." God loves those around me...all the hurting people around me are the zealous fire in God's hearts. He is passionate about them. Passionate about seeing them come to him, seeing their lives and hearts change and seeing his glory manifest itsself in their lives. His tears for them stoke a fire of passion that led him to a cross. His tears come from true pain. And should things continue as they are, I know that he is there for me. That he understands hurt and loss and pain. I know that he can bring me peace in the midst of someone else's storm.
My view needed a bit of refocusing. It still hurts, and it still sucks. There are two sides to the coin of life and one of them will always be crappy. But, I find that no longer do I feel hopeless. Regardless of what may take place in the day and the life of someone else, or myself, I can still look to God.
Even with all this, I find myself a bit melancholy these days. I'd like to just blame it on the grey skies, but I know better. I find my heart downtrodden within me. What is it about getting well into your thirties that makes life bitch-slap you? All of the sudden things begin to happen in the lives of people around you and even in your own life. Things you can't stop, or change. Things that hurt. Things that change people. Confusing things. Life all of the sudden sheds the facade of a fairytale, and reality shows up like a playground bully. I can't help but see it all and wonder how it will affect me? How will it continue to affect them? Will I still have these friendships in 5 yrs, or will reality do away with that too? I see and feel the pain of these around me and I find that for once in my life, it seems I have no words for it. I find that all I seem to be able to do is cry and pray. The first I suppose is only helpful to me. The second is far more helpful to any situation than crying. It's the age old scenario...I can't see God doing anything, yet he has to be, even if it's only in me. I find myself feeling hopeless for the situations of people I love and think "This is not helpful!"
I found myself last night scouring scripture for hope...I came across this " Why are you cast down, O my soul and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Ps 42:5)
Seems like maybe someone knows how I feel. I found myself in the face of a choice; I could continue focusing on these things that only make me sad and hopeless OR I could change my view to God and what he has done and is doing in spite of what my human eyes might see. I found I had to choose to, even try to, think of things to praise God for. Things he has done, promises he has made and kept, his power and miracles he has done and situations he has changed. It's not easy when you heart's eyes want to keep looking down where they have been.
When my husband was in college he knew these two guys, brothers. They were the biggest partiers ever. They did every drug and drank every drink there was to be drank. One night both brothers were at separate parties stoned out of their minds. Both of them ended up sick praying to the potty god. Both of them saw clearly a vision of Jesus. He declared his love for them and told them to stop all the drugs and drinking because he had things for them to do. Instantly, both were sober and clear minded. Their partying stopped that night and both have followed Jesus since. I was reminded of these two and thought "if Jesus can visit them, and stop them in their tracks Paul-style...he can do that and more for those around me." God loves those around me...all the hurting people around me are the zealous fire in God's hearts. He is passionate about them. Passionate about seeing them come to him, seeing their lives and hearts change and seeing his glory manifest itsself in their lives. His tears for them stoke a fire of passion that led him to a cross. His tears come from true pain. And should things continue as they are, I know that he is there for me. That he understands hurt and loss and pain. I know that he can bring me peace in the midst of someone else's storm.
My view needed a bit of refocusing. It still hurts, and it still sucks. There are two sides to the coin of life and one of them will always be crappy. But, I find that no longer do I feel hopeless. Regardless of what may take place in the day and the life of someone else, or myself, I can still look to God.
28.3.09
This week's try-it...Mock-i-yaki
So, I'm trying to get back into the swing of bloggin again...be patient. For this week's try-it I wanted to share a mock teriyaki sauce with you. This recipe started from a guy I was engaged to eons ago and his dad's BBQ. Jerry (the dad) would BBQ lots throughout the summers. One of his best was pork steaks marinated in nothing but soy sauce and honey. It was the best pork I ever had. I no longer eat pork, but knowing how well those two flavors went together was inspiration for this recipe! This recipe is not a "follow to the teaspoon" kind of recipe. If you like it saltier...less honey. If you like more kick then add more garlic. It will surprise you, however, how much it does taste like teriyaki sauce! (minus the msg...) So here goes...
Neisha's Orange-Ginger Mock-i-yaki
1/3 c lite soy sauce
1/4 c oj
1 clove garlic minced
1tsp ground ginger
honey, agave, maple syrup to taste
Whisk ingredients together. (wow...that was hard.)
Now for the fun stuff...what to do with it? If you are doing a marinade, simply put it in a ziplock with your meat for 30min or more. I actually like to freeze my meat in the marinade...saves me a step! If you want to use this as a sauce, add 1tsp cornstarch to the oj and simmer until thickened. This is a good sauce to have on hand in the fridge. It is also a simple and tasty sauce to whip up in a hurry with simple stuff you probably already have!
Life continues to go on here in GA. My belly gets bigger everyday. The baby not the chicken mock-i-yaki! It's spring here and that means POLLEN! I wish I had been more diligent with the kids' pollen drops...I wasn't now we have some stuffy noses. We battled a case of lice for a week...that I am not looking forward to ever again. And as the weather gets warmer and stuff gets greener, I itch to get out and grow something! I have big aspirations to save my allowance and start a bag-garden. Yes...you plant stuff right in the bag of potting soil. Someone must have cursed this yard long ago, but I claim freedom! Until then, I will fight it's deficiencies. Even if it's only a few bags, I'd love to have 8-10 plants. Tomatoes, leeks, beans, peppers, strawberries, cukes and a cantaloupe if I'm feeling sassy. We'll see... I find that one of my growing frustrations with life is that my life now is so far removed from how I grew up! There is something about how we live our lives that rubs the inside of me raw. I rarely ate fast food until I was a teen. If I was bored, I went out to the garden and picked strawberries! Then I'd pretend to be Daisy Duke and the boredom was all gone! My kids have never fished, and maybe only once camped. ??WHAT??
As for now, I'll continue on. I am more and more needing to seek God and focus on him. Everything else makes me mad, sad or disappointed. I am starting to want to find purpose for being here...now. I had been just wallowing in misery wanting to go back. I see my tantrum has not brought that about. Instead, I'm just more miserable. I hope this year will be the year I see the change I have longed for deep in my heart. (PS- that statement has NOTHING to do w/Obama...don't get me started)
For now...enjoy some mock teriyaki and I'll post again soon!
Neisha's Orange-Ginger Mock-i-yaki
1/3 c lite soy sauce
1/4 c oj
1 clove garlic minced
1tsp ground ginger
honey, agave, maple syrup to taste
Whisk ingredients together. (wow...that was hard.)
Now for the fun stuff...what to do with it? If you are doing a marinade, simply put it in a ziplock with your meat for 30min or more. I actually like to freeze my meat in the marinade...saves me a step! If you want to use this as a sauce, add 1tsp cornstarch to the oj and simmer until thickened. This is a good sauce to have on hand in the fridge. It is also a simple and tasty sauce to whip up in a hurry with simple stuff you probably already have!
Life continues to go on here in GA. My belly gets bigger everyday. The baby not the chicken mock-i-yaki! It's spring here and that means POLLEN! I wish I had been more diligent with the kids' pollen drops...I wasn't now we have some stuffy noses. We battled a case of lice for a week...that I am not looking forward to ever again. And as the weather gets warmer and stuff gets greener, I itch to get out and grow something! I have big aspirations to save my allowance and start a bag-garden. Yes...you plant stuff right in the bag of potting soil. Someone must have cursed this yard long ago, but I claim freedom! Until then, I will fight it's deficiencies. Even if it's only a few bags, I'd love to have 8-10 plants. Tomatoes, leeks, beans, peppers, strawberries, cukes and a cantaloupe if I'm feeling sassy. We'll see... I find that one of my growing frustrations with life is that my life now is so far removed from how I grew up! There is something about how we live our lives that rubs the inside of me raw. I rarely ate fast food until I was a teen. If I was bored, I went out to the garden and picked strawberries! Then I'd pretend to be Daisy Duke and the boredom was all gone! My kids have never fished, and maybe only once camped. ??WHAT??
As for now, I'll continue on. I am more and more needing to seek God and focus on him. Everything else makes me mad, sad or disappointed. I am starting to want to find purpose for being here...now. I had been just wallowing in misery wanting to go back. I see my tantrum has not brought that about. Instead, I'm just more miserable. I hope this year will be the year I see the change I have longed for deep in my heart. (PS- that statement has NOTHING to do w/Obama...don't get me started)
For now...enjoy some mock teriyaki and I'll post again soon!
26.3.09
Been a while?
Holy guacamole Batman! It's beena while since I have been on. My whole reason for getting on today was to share a recipe for those of you who come here looking for new ideas (or old ones you forgot about). I am realizing just how long it's been and thinking that I need a little less Facebook time and a bit more blogtime! I do have quite a few new recipes to get down on here, but today only one will make the cut. Years ago in a cooking mag that came out post-Thanksgiving, there was a section of what to do with all that leftover turkey! I have since found this recipe not only works with leftover turkey but chicken as well. It also is a good way to get all those sides of steamed veggies gone from your fridge. Everyone...meet my improved Chicken Ranch Pasta!
Chicken Ranch Pasta
left over chicken / 2 chicken breasts - cut up or shredded (omit if you want to go veg!)
1 box elbows or rotini (use different varieties for allergies...spelt, br rice, millet, etc)
1 sm bag frozen mix veg OR the leftover veggies in your fridge
1envelope ranch seasoning
1.5 sticks butter/marg/alternative (it's butter, not crack...stop freaking out...this makes a ton!)
Boil and drain pasta, meanwhile in the pan melt butter and add veggies, ranch and chicken. Cook on med-hi for 3-4 minutes til frozen veg are cooked through (but before they are mush...capiche?) Stir the whole lot together and serve with parm cheese over. This will make alot, so prepare to freeze, share or eat it tomorrow!
This is a great meal for a quick and easy clean out of the fridge. It's also very flexible to be a vegetarian dish using more veggies and beans as well. (black or garbanzo)
Chicken Ranch Pasta
left over chicken / 2 chicken breasts - cut up or shredded (omit if you want to go veg!)
1 box elbows or rotini (use different varieties for allergies...spelt, br rice, millet, etc)
1 sm bag frozen mix veg OR the leftover veggies in your fridge
1envelope ranch seasoning
1.5 sticks butter/marg/alternative (it's butter, not crack...stop freaking out...this makes a ton!)
Boil and drain pasta, meanwhile in the pan melt butter and add veggies, ranch and chicken. Cook on med-hi for 3-4 minutes til frozen veg are cooked through (but before they are mush...capiche?) Stir the whole lot together and serve with parm cheese over. This will make alot, so prepare to freeze, share or eat it tomorrow!
This is a great meal for a quick and easy clean out of the fridge. It's also very flexible to be a vegetarian dish using more veggies and beans as well. (black or garbanzo)
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